QuietLeadership

I do not consider myself to be an obvious leader. Although people are usually drawn to me, I am not outgoing, loud, or demonstrative, and I almost never wear a suit. I rarely try to be the center of attention, and sometimes I can be downright shy. In fact, just this week I got a letter from a friend’s assistant asking me why I wrote about her boss in one of my recent messages. She had no idea that I was the same guy who played didgeridoos at her boss’ conferences. She had never known that I was part of a ministry, much less the director of one, and so she was surprised when she found out who I was. I do not make a public show of my leadership, so people usually do not assume that I am a leader. I gladly accept humble tasks, love to work behind the scenes, and do no advertising or networking whatsoever. I don’t even carry business cards.

Some of my friends have said that I am a “covert leader,” because people do not usually recognize me as a leader until after they get to know me. Rather than pressure or coerce people into doing a certain thing, I inspire them to join me in a cooperative effort. Rather than simply delegate to others, I work with them toward a common goal, and I am just as excited about learning from other people as I am about sharing what I know. Sometimes, when the situation calls for it, I will rise up to take charge and be a clear leader that others can follow, but most of the time I invite others to journey with me, rather than asking them to follow.

These are the hallmarks of a new kind of leadership. People like me are becoming life-coaches, gurus, mentors, and organizers, bringing people together in friendship and community and empowering them to better their lives, rather than overtly directing people. We are influencing the world through conversation rather than conversion, inviting people to learn and grow along with us, rather than working our way to the top aggressively. Instead of telling people what to do or what to believe, we are helping people come to their own revelations and discoveries.

This is contrary to the old model of leadership. It used to be that a leader had to command respect, but the new leader earns it. The old leader told everyone what the destination should be. The new leader instead invites others to join a quest that may not even have a set destination. The old leader told people how to act. The new leader demonstrates how certain behaviors and choices are healthier than others. The old leader spoke in rhetoric and sound bites, trying to persuade others with inspiration or argument. The new leader regards honesty with more importance than flash, and speaks with sincerity and compassion. The old leader loved titles and hierarchy, while the new leader loves peer-to-peer fellowship and equality. The old leader took charge. The new leader empowers. The old leader demanded unquestioning allegiance. The new leader inspires faithfulness while encouraging exploration and free thinking. The old leader protected his reputation at all costs. The new leader humbly admits failures and asks for help and patience.

This “new kind of leadership” is not really new at all – it just isn’t usually recognized. A great example of this is from the classic film, “The Wizard of Oz.” Dorothy was no great leader according to the world’s standards. She never claimed to have all the answers, and never made herself out to be anything more than a girl from Kansas looking for her way home. Even so, others joined her mission, followed her example, and let her change their lives. The Wizard led people by spectacle and fear, but Dorothy showed true leadership by aligning herself with others, rather than lording it over them. By embracing others, Dorothy led the whole kingdom into a better place.

If anyone had power to lead, it was not Dorothy. She knew absolutely nothing about her quest, her needs, her destination, or the land where she was stuck. Even so, she became the catalyst for real change in the lives of everyone around her. In the same way, each one of us has the power to change lives and inspire people. You and I can invite people to learn and grow with us, even if we are just starting on an uncharted spiritual journey.

The same story pops up all over the Bible. Gideon was terrified of the enemy, but his faith was contagious, and so he led Israel into victory. David was the runt of his family, but his humility and inner strength empowered him to become one of the greatest leaders in all of history. Daniel was a pretty-boy locked away with the king’s eunuchs, but his gifts and faithfulness set him apart from everyone else, and his fervent prayer influenced history in almost unimaginable ways. Esther was just a daughter of a persecuted family, but her grace and self-sacrifice gained the king’s attention, love, and respect. Ruth was an outcast widow, but her story touches millions today. John Mark was just a young man who had been rejected by Paul, but he went on to lead the church and write the Gospel that bears his name.

Moses was an exiled eighty-year-old shepherd when he became his people’s redeemer. Noah was considered a fool when he built the ark. Abraham was a wanderer with no homeland and a barren wife. Mary was just a teenage girl of no real stature. Elisha was just plowing his field when Elijah called him, and Peter, James, and John were just fishermen when Jesus made them His disciples. Over and over again we can find examples of unlikely heroes and unexpected leaders. And just as often we can find stories of people who thought they were perfect leadership material, but were, in fact, just pompous braggarts.

When the prophet Samuel went to find Israel’s king, he went expecting someone of great stature. Samuel should have known better. He grew up in the Temple because Hannah, his barren mother, had promised her son to God if He would cause her to bear a child. When it was time for God to speak to Israel, instead of choosing the high priest or his priestly sons, God spoke to Samuel, the little boy who would listen. That should have taught him that God does not always choose the obvious or the qualified, but Samuel apparently had not taken his own childhood experience to heart. When Samuel assumed that the most regal of Jesse’s sons would be king, God had to remind him, “Look not at his appearance or at the height of his stature, for I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as a man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

David’s brothers were all natural leaders. Even so, it was David who was chosen. His life and example of quiet leadership were more important to God than all of David’s brothers’ manly achievements and military successes. David’s care for his sheep was of greater importance than all the valor his brothers had shown. And when it came time for David to prove himself, it was not a rousing speech that won the war, but was his own faith, his own testimony, and his own willingness to lead by example.

Later, when David rose to great renown, he could have seized leadership from Saul, the wicked king, but instead he waited for God to promote him. He led by example and in humility, inviting others to join him in his devotion to God rather than exerting his power and stature to take what God had not yet given. There are a lot of leaders today who are more like Saul, doing whatever they can to promote themselves and gain support, but all David wanted to do was God’s will, and he knew that no promotion meant anything unless it was promotion that came from God.

That is a fantastic lesson to learn. We at UPM have never advertised or consciously networked. Even when I am on the faculty of seminars or am on stage preaching or leading worship, I never make my position blatant, because I don’t want people to know that I am a minister. As soon as people find out who I am they want to schmooze and network, or they want me to come to their churches or have them at mine. People who cared nothing about me before suddenly want to take me to lunch or dinner. But if I remain behind the scenes, part of the team, the only people who know me are the ones who care, the ones who truly want to share the journey with me, rather than those who think we have arrived. That is why my friend’s assistant had no idea who I was until I explained myself to her. In six or seven years of acquaintance, she never knew I was a minister. She just thought I was a musician, because I lacked the “diva attitude” and self importance so prevalent in those who are used to being in the spotlight.

I am continually amazed at people who are in leadership only because of their personalities or credentials. I knew a pastor who spent every Saturday finding new sex partners online. Ministry leaders have asked me to come up to their hotel rooms for trysts at conferences. I know ministers who preach excitedly about prosperity and debt release when they, themselves, are so far in debt they are on the verge of bankruptcy and are embezzling money from their churches. Several preachers have offered to teach me how to fake the gifts of the Spirit. On the other hand, shy, quiet people that may never even be noticed have changed my life with their encouragement or example. Tell me, what makes a leader?

Gary, one of the men on my prayer team and my accountability partner, is a great example of this. He is not a writer, a preacher, or worship leader. He is no scholar or theologian. In fact, he just sells women’s shoes at Saks. But Gary asks questions, and even more important, he inspires me to ask questions. Nothing is off limits for him, because he cares more about living righteously than living by traditional rules. If he thinks I am off balance on something, he is not afraid to ask me about it, and I can’t even begin to count the times he has brought a whole new perspective to something I had never even considered. Gary also inspires others with his quiet faith, humility, and tenacity. The love and honor Gary exudes has won him many friends, and even though he is not outspoken, he is never intimidated by the idea of sharing his testimony. Gary manifests the kingdom of God everywhere he goes because of his quiet but powerful witness: the testimony of his life.

In the same way, Brian, my assistant, keeps me grounded, prays for me, and helps me see things I may not have otherwise seen. When I am weak he is usually strong, and he helps me be the best person I can be. Even though he used to be crippled by shyness and low self-esteem, Brian has shown remarkable strength, and has changed the course of others’ lives with just one conversation. Even when Brian feels like a failure, his humility convicts others to do their own self-evaluation, shining a light inside their hearts to see if there might be anything false inside.

Gary and Brian are leaders, even though a lot of people would never even notice them, and they have both helped many others live better lives. Their quiet compassion and distaste for hype and dead religion convict others to abandon dead works, while inspiring them to seek something greater. Working behind the scenes, they motivate others to do better, achieve more, and grow stronger. Is that not what leaders should do? Just like Dorothy led the lion, scarecrow, and tin man on a journey of self-discovery, Brian and Gary help others find the strength and faith hidden inside, inspiring (and sometimes convicting) them to become better people, better believers, better neighbors, and better friends.

This is what Hebrews 10:24-25 says should happen when we assemble together. It says, “And let us give care to watching over one another, studying how we may stir up to love, helpful deeds, and noble activities, not forsaking to assemble together, as is the habit of some people, but admonishing and encouraging one another, and all the more faithfully as you see the day approaching.”

A lot of people think this is about going to church, but this speaks of our daily interaction with each other, inspiring, encouraging, and exhorting each other to live better, richer, more powerful, and more generous lives. I have a group of friends whom I have never even met, and yet they inspire me. Gerry consistently shows me perspectives I had not considered before. Anita inspires me to transparency and worship, and encourages me in more ways than she knows. Stephen challenges me with tough questions and reminds me almost daily about the importance of Scriptural grounding. Jason’s radical theology makes me question my own ideas, testing my faith to make my foundation stronger, and sifting false traditions out of my biblical beliefs.

These people are quiet leaders, living examples of this passage in Hebrews. Now that the Internet allows fellowship even over vast distances, I “assemble together” with people I may never even meet, and together we are growing and learning, walking together on a journey of discovery. Just as Dorothy had never traveled the yellow brick road, most of us are going places we’ve never been before, but as we encourage and guide each other in our quest, we know that we will discover untold treasures – and will be richer in sharing the journey with others.

The New Testament makes it absolutely clear that every single one of us is entrusted with gifts that are for the edification of the church, that each one of us is a royal priest, that every believer should be the salt of the earth and the light of the world, and that we all have something to contribute. Why, then, do so many of us settle with letting other people do everything? Hebrews 8:11 says that each one of us – “from the smallest to the greatest” – should teach our neighbors and fellow citizens about God. I Corinthians 14:26 says that every time we meet together, each one of us should have a word of knowledge, prophecy, psalm, teaching, or hymn, contributing as God gives us the gifts. This paints a clear picture of involvement – not of going to church on Sundays so some “qualified and ordained” person can spoon-feed us what he wants us to hear. We can all learn and grow together as God moves through each of us!

Dynamic leadership does not need a clear division of who is in charge and who is subservient. Jesus showed us that the first will be last and the last will be first, that the greatest will be the least and the least will be the greatest, and that those who wish to lead must show themselves as servants. Many think this means we have to “pay our dues” before we can lead, but Jesus washed the Disciples’ feet near the end of His life – not in the beginning of His ministry. He lived to serve, and even now Jesus “ever lives to make intercession on our behalf.” (Romans 8:27-34, Hebrews 7:25) Jesus did not just serve in order to gain status; He served because He was the greatest leader the world has ever known. Jesus served in humility, in love, and in compassion, welcoming the wounded and rejected as friends and family, identifying with and embracing those who would betray Him. Did that make Jesus any less of a leader?

I know that I am changing lives, leading by example rather than by force, coercion, or rhetoric. I hate being manipulated, and I don’t want to manipulate anyone else. I don’t like it when people try to shove their doctrines and beliefs down my throat, and so I try not to do that to other people. Instead I endeavor to lead humbly and quietly, by being a mentor, by living what I preach, by letting God show Himself strong on my behalf, by encouraging others to be the best that they can be, and of course, by simply loving, embracing, and befriending others. I have no doubt that I am a leader, and I don’t have to flash my name around or promote myself or wear titles because my faith is real – and real faith is attractive to those who are seeking something bigger than themselves.

That is the key to being a leader in the emerging global culture. Society is moving away from the old model of bombastic leadership. People no longer trust blatant authority because power has been abused by almost everyone who has it. People of my generation are now in their thirties, and we grew up with the Vietnam War, Watergate, the televangelist scandals, the Iran Contra debacle in which liars became heroes, government denial about the AIDS epidemic, and so much more. We have seen just about every public office soiled. All around the world we have seen idealistic leaders turn into tyrannical despots as their power corrupted them. The generation before us has given us no reason to trust in authority. That is why people who embody this new kind of humble leadership will change the world. They will be leaders among the people, mentors, fathers, mothers and midwives, peers and co-laborers journeying together into the great unknown. Worship leaders will become “lead worshippers,” pastors will give way to mentors, and lines between clergy and laity will blur – or vanish. The world has no use for ivory towers and hierarchies of the elite, but is looking for people to be like God – humbling themselves to walk among the people, leading by compassionate example, and inspiring courage.

Will you be that kind of leader? Will you acknowledge the gifts and callings on your life and share them with your brothers and sisters in Christ – and with the grocery store clerk and parking attendant and student and person on the street? Will you invite others to join you on a journey of faith? Will you call others into your quest to come closer to God? Will you welcome the cowardly and weak to draw from your strength and courage, and will you be humble enough to recognize, cultivate, and receive the gifts in them?

Sure, sometimes it will get messy; it definitely was as Peter, Paul, John, James, and their friends tried to figure out how to deal with new situations and cultures in their day. As the kingdom of God expands into new cultures today we will no doubt find new challenges and unknown territories too, but the Holy Spirit will guide us if we will be humble and obedient enough to listen. And that, in itself, is leadership, as we saw with Samuel. He was just a child when God spoke to him, but because he listened, the entire world was changed. The same will happen to us as we encourage and admonish one another, sharing our gifts and drawing from the gifts others share with us. As we learn to journey together and support each other in quiet leadership we will learn the value of community, and that community will be the kingdom of God! No matter who you are, you can be a leader. It does not matter how old you are, how much money you have, or how many natural abilities and privileges you possess – God sees your heart and has called you His royal priest and ambassador for Christ! Hallelujah!

I love you!

Eric

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